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We’re wired for struggle

According to my esteemed co-author, Andy Whittaker, we’re all born perfect. But of course, in the interests of generating some debate, I totally disagree. We’re born completely and utterly flawed. You pop out into the world, someone slaps your backside (nice welcome!), you open your lungs and the starting pistol of life signals that you’re off…

You are you. You just don’t know it yet! And, eventually you get used to being you. You work out what works and doesn’t work for you. You suss the system.

But which bit is ‘you’?

Is it the body bit? Grab your ear lobe and feel the smoothness of it. The little hairs. That’s a bit of ‘you’, right? Or bite your lip. Ouch, that’s definitely ‘you’. Pull your hair. That’s attached (unless you’re wearing a syrup, in which case you’d probably best not pull it too hard) so that’s ‘you’ too. So there’s a physical ‘you’. That version of ‘you’ that’s basically a bunch of trillions of cells stuck together. And the physical ‘you’ is very important.

But ‘The Art of Being Brilliant’ is less about the ‘you’ that you see when you stand naked in front of the mirror. Yes, yes, we know there are a load of lumps, bumps and imperfections. But herein lies the clue to you number two. Who’s the one noticing your reflection? Who’s the one saying, ‘Best suck your belly in mate’? Who’s the one imagining how good you’d look if you actually put some effort into getting fit?

We reckon this is the real you. The lumpy, visible bunch of cells is just the mechanism you use to transport yourself around. The one in your head is the most important. The one that feels and connects. Some call it your spirit, or personality or inner voice.

If I ask you, ‘Do you talk to yourself’? The real you is the one who says, ‘I don’t know, do I?’

And that’s the version of ‘you’ that we want to engage. Because if we can get through to the realyou, our job is done.