I was driving home from a session all about ‘leading change’. To be honest I steer away from delivering the standard ‘change’ material. All that ‘unfreeze – change – refreeze’ stuff leaves me cold.
Instead, I decided to speak about what was really on my mind. I suggested that, as the human race, we are still very new to this planet. If we play our cards right, we’ve got a few million years left on the lease.
I then explained, in our trademark non-academic way, that a lot of the world’s current thinking is quite ‘medieval’. And by ‘medieval’ I mean ‘medieval’. For example, we still fight about money, territory and Gods.
And my mind flashed back to an article I’d read many years ago about how astronauts feel when they view Earth from a million miles away. Many of them comment on the tranquillity and beauty of our blue planet when viewed from afar.
And yet, here we are at ground level saying things like, ‘My God’s better than your God. Bang bang, you’re dead!’
Here’s a local and petty example. People from Liverpool (‘Scousers’) tend to have a general dislike of people from Manchester (‘Mancs’). It’s partly a football rivalry and probably a man thing, but stick with me, there’s a great point on the way. They hate each other so much that, famously, when there was a scarcity of maternity wards, expectant parents had to use the local veterinary hospital.
One night a Scouser and Manc turned up with their pregnant wives, along with a German Shepherd bitch called Lucy. Confused? So was the vet!
All were rushed into the delivery room and the men listened while there was a lot of panting, screaming and yelping from behind the door.
After a nervous couple of hours the vet emerged into the waiting room and explained there had been complications but not to worry as all the new born where fit and healthy. Phew! The only problem was during the turmoil of three females giving birth at once he hadn’t had time to tag the infants. “However,” he reassured them, “this shouldn’t cause too much of a problem because as their fathers you should find it very easy to recognise your own offspring.”
The Manc jumped up at the speed of a thousand gazelles and ran into the delivery room returning with the German Shepherd puppy lovingly cradled in his arms.
The vet looked confused. “That one can’t be yours sir,” he explained.
And the Manc said, “Up yours doc! I’m taking no chances. One of those babies in there is a Scouser!”
That is a lot of hatred!
However, consider this – if that very same Manc and Scouser went on a trip to London, they wouldn’t be a ‘Manc’ and ‘Scouser’ any more. They would unite as ‘northerners’, joining forces in the battle against ‘shandy-drinking southerners’.
Then if the northerner and southerner went on holiday to Spain, they would become ‘English’ and join forces against the Spanish. Being ‘English’ they would have too much sun, too many beers and chant racial slurs before drowning in their own sick.
However if ever the English and Spanish went on holiday to the USA they would then become ‘European’ and begin to hate the Americans. Then the Europeans and Americans go on holiday to somewhere in the Middle East… and I think you can see where this is going?
So the way I see it, what we need to bring the people of the world together in harmony and peace is… an alien invasion!
Think about it?
Then all the Muslims, Christians, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists and ginger people… in fact all the ethnic and minority groups would stand together in unity as one and shout:
“Come on you little green b*****s, we’ll have ya!”
For the members of my audience left awake, my point was, why wait for an alien invasion? Let’s unite now. Let’s forgive the mistakes of the past and understand we probably didn’t know any better and live out the remainder of our lease with positivity, harmony and happiness. Sounds awesome, right?
So, in part two of this blog, I’ll reveal what I’m doing to save the world.
Until next time
Andy W @artofbrillandyw