After two long years, the pandemic begins to fade and we’re all looking forward to some happiness and freedom… and the Russian army skewers Ukraine. There’s a collective global facepalm, a sense of incredulity and a deep pang of fear for the Ukrainians.
Russia is a fabulous country. Surely Mr Putin would be better off making Russia a good neighbour that fizzes with vitality, friendliness, happiness and creativity.
Meantime, I’m on the radio and TV speaking about happiness in troubled times. As a happiness researcher I’m facing a barrage of aggressive questions:
- How can we be happy when the world’s so difficult?
- Is it right to be happy when others are suffering?
- If I’m happy, surely I should also be feeling guilty?
The world is experiencing an outpouring of compassion for the citizens of Ukraine. They are loving, peaceful, kind, family-minded people. Just like you and I. Just like the vast majority of the people in Russia. I’m imagining that the Russian citizens are horrified and embarrassed by what Putin is doing.
Most people in the world are lovely, but there are a few outliers, a tiny minority suffering from what psychologists call Grandiose Narcissism. This is a diagnosable mental disorder that has no cure and is particularly damaging when the sufferer somehow finds themselves in charge of a war machine.
Here are some of the symptoms of Grandiose Narcissism; arrogance, a need for admiration, lack of empathy, an exaggerated sense of importance, fantasies of power, intelligence & physical appearance, lacking care, compassion and empathy for others.
Mr Putin ticks all the boxes. He is mentally unwell.
Sufferers genuinely think they’re superior in intellect and that everyone is jealous of them.
Mr Putin’s newsreel shows the truth. He is lacking in all the traits that make up a decent human being. Nobody is jealous of Putin. We’re incredulous, saddened and fearful, but very few will be envious of him. He’s the neighbour from hell. Putin is the kind of human being I’d least like to be.
Meantime, back to the questions above – is it right to be happy when the world is in turmoil? Honestly, I’m not sure it is. Happiness, right now, doesn’t feel right. But positivity, optimism and hope are valid. These traits might not fix Ukraine, but they will impact those closest to you. You, at your best, it’s what your family and neighbours need. Especially right now.
Holocaust survivor Victor Frankl said that hope and positivity kept him going. Taking it one step further, Positive Psychology speaks of ‘collective effervescence’ – a sort of societal spirit – the communal uprising of human beings into ‘best self’ mode.
Happiness might be a step too far, so my advice is to stay hopeful and be positive. These qualities are contagious. They light up your family and friends. It might just sustain the unfortunate Ukrainians and inspire the good people of Russia to rise up into a thriving, creative, vibrant country where people are free to be what they truly are – warm, friendly, kind and compassionate.
Viva la Revolution!