If you’re feeling sensitive right now, give this blog a miss. Scrub that. Let’s go again. If you’re feeling sensitive right now, get your eyeballs fixed on this…
I have a confession to make…
I’m getting fed up with the constant low-level grumbling that has become the soundtrack of British life. Fed by rolling news and (anti-)social media, we’ve become the stereotype that the Australians have always suggested we are; whinging Poms. Cup your ear and you’ll hear complaining, rationalizing and justifying why life is a succession of bad luck, shoddy leadership and why the UK is a terrible place right now.
Everything’s bad. In fact, the worst it’s ever been. Brexit hasn’t worked. Post pandemic burnout. Prices are eye-wateringly high, and rising. Taxes too. Everyone’s on strike. The recession will be hard and long. Mother earth is shot to pieces…
And yet despite the country being absolutely terrible, there’s a never-ending inflatable flotilla of migrants risking everything to have a small slice of what we’ve already got. They want the life we’re living. That’s a clue, right there.
This year, my plea is to stop talking the bad stuff up! Yes, I know the world’s not perfect (plot spoiler, it never has been and never will be) but you don’t have to big it up.
This is how I see it (I know, because I used to be guilty of it!)
People demand change. They scream about it. But they don’t want TO change. Examples abound:
You want to get fit but you don’t want to go to the gym.
You want to play sport but you don’t fancy training on a wet Thursday.
You want to get on in your career but you don’t want to commit to night classes.
You want your kids to stop scrolling but you don’t want to give up your own addiction.
You want to lose weight but you don’t want to give up cake.
You want to get sober but you don’t want to give up your weekend binging.
Too many people are talking a good talk. They know exactly what they need to do, but they’re not doing it!
Too many people are interested in arriving at success without ever having to do the heavy lifting that gets them there. They refuse to accept the reality that they must do their own pushups.
While I acknowledge that we all have challenges, hurdles and obstacles to navigate, most reasons for inaction are in fact, not reasons at all.
They are excuses.
You can get lulled into making excuse after excuse after excuse, after excuse…
… after excuse…
For the record, I spent 40 years luxuriating on the bed of excuses. It’s super-comfy. Eventually, you start to slide into mediocrity. Develop a habit of excuses and you’ll develop a stench of decay. Excuse my bluntness but excuses pose a clear and present danger to your future.
So here’s a fact… there’s a HUGE difference between a reason and an excuse.
On the surface, reasons and excuses share similar DNA but the principal difference lies in the results of each. It’s all about the actions that follow.
A reason explains something. It’s an acknowledgement of fault which you then take responsibility for, and action follows. An excuse justifies, blames or defends a fault, with the intent to shift responsibility. It’s not fair, or it’s someone else’s fault, or it’s too difficult. When you trot out an excuse it lets you off the hook. Your sins are excused.
If you’re still struggling with the difference between a reason and an excuse, here’s an excellent rule of thumb – every reason must have a resulting positive action.
That’s so important, I’ll say it again…every reason must have a resulting positive action.
Reason implies that fault is sincerely recognized and accepted….that you step up and take accountability for your actions. Crucially, something changes as a result.
An excuse exists to justify, blame or defend a fault…with the intent to absolve oneself of accountability. You’ll begin to recognise an excuse because it will NEVER be followed by positive, goal-directed or solution-oriented behaviour.
Excuses bring productivity to a screeching halt. They waste time and murder potential. They are weapons of mass destruction that undermine motivation, reputation, human potential and future prospects.
So get real. Is your inaction due to reasons or excuses? Be honest! Why didn’t you go for a run, why did you over-eat, why are you doom-scrolling, why don’t you go to the gym, why are you drinking too much alcohol?
Your challenge for this year (any year, every year) is to recognise and kick out the excuses. Look for the reasons, take responsibility and move forward with positive action.
This year, do a Gandhi. BE THE CHANGE. #BeMoreGandhi
Andy Cope (Dr of Reason)