We all enjoy writing lists: shopping lists, birthday lists, to-do lists…
Most of us have a constant need to list everything. Despite our to-do lists being there to help us, we can often find ourselves getting more worked up because of them. Often, we set ourselves up for failure by putting too many items on the list. And if by some miracle we reach the bottom of the list, we don’t pat ourselves on the back and put our feet up, we simply add another few things to it, just to ensure we go to bed that night feeling dissatisfied that we haven’t got everything done…again!
During a recent Lead Well programme, we were talking about what strategies we use to help us prioritise and one of our wonderful delegates shared her method of writing a ‘To-Don’t List’ each day.
A ‘To-Don’t List’ is where you write down all the things you don’t need to do that day, leaving you with what really matters. Because what’s left are the things you should focus on; those are the things you need to do. This method allows you to park the unnecessary and allows you to just BE.
A ‘To-Don’t List’ is a real game-changer. We can be so guilty of focusing on all the things we should do that we forget the things that actually matter to us. If we are so busy adding more to our lists or desperately trying to cross items off it, we fail to notice what is right in front of us – our relationships. Even worse, if we aren’t careful, our families become just another item on our to-do list. We find ourselves racing through precious family moments just so we can tick them off and start on the next item on the agenda.
Ultimately, when we reach the end of our days, we won’t be remembered for being that person that managed to get through their to-do list. But we will be remembered for all the times we played with our children, all the times we listened to our partner or all the times we were there for our friends.
Nothing matters more than those moments that really matter. Anything else is a bonus.
Make peace with the fact you will never get it all done. And focus on what and who are truly important.
We have since included the ‘To-Don’t List’ strategy in our Lead Well programme. If you are interested in learning more ways to eliminate the inessential so you can spend more time with those that really matter, we would love to see you on our next Lead Well course.