The Art of Brilliance Blog

Love him or hate him? Whatever you think of him, one of the most remarkable things about Jeremy Clarkson is that he doesn’t do ‘middle ground’.

Don’t worry – I’m not going to talk about what happened in Yorkshire or the ins and outs of the BBC’s decision. What I am going to talk about is the danger of ‘middling’.

When someone asks “How are you?” how often do you hear:

• “not bad”
• “fair to middling”
• “mustn’t grumble”
• “fine”?

What’s all that about? Is that really how we want to spend our days? If we think like this all the time then our lives will drift aimlessly through the drab grey zone of middle ground. And wherever we end up it will be a million miles from feeling the best that we can be.

How about:

• “brilliant”
• “couldn’t be better”
• “great”
• or my personal favourite “top banana”?

And if we’re not feeling great then maybe it’s OK to say so. Because 2%ers don’t have super-glued smiles. They can have bad days too.

The difference with 2%ers is that they have to be bad days, not just a bad 10 minutes (which is what it takes for most people to write off a day) and that they get on with feeling rubbish so that they can work through it and bounce back.

So it’s OK to say “I’m having a really rubbish day” if you really are. But make sure it really is a rubbish day, and then find a way to get over it.

There’s no doubt that Jeremy Clarkson had a really rubbish day this week. Quite a few of them, to be fair. But life will move on and wherever you find him, it won’t be in the middle ground.

And if you need help shifting from middle ground help is at hand!

Check out our open programmes. Short, sharp, affordable workshops that will pretty much do what it says on the tin. Please spread the word. All places are allocated on a first come first served basis.

Peter Anderton

Today there was a solar eclipse and a super moon, coinciding with the spring equinox.

The UK media was full of a hype from astrology and astronomy points of view.

Russell Grant made an appearance in a sparkly star-covered shirt, with predictions about your future, what a great time it was for a new start and how from today your life will change for the better. While Professor Brian Cox and Dara Ó Briain took us through the science bit.

It also happened to be International Day of Happiness. The moon must have known, because from where I was viewing, it made the sun smile.

I agree with the Prof that astrology is rubbish. But I reckon Russell has a point. Today is a good time to change your life, but not because of the alignment of the sun, moon and planets.

Take control of your own destiny. Be Brilliant Every Dayfrom now!

…Or you could wait until the next solar eclipse in 2026.

Jo Armstrong

Yesterday I spoke at a conference that was jam-packed with really clever people. Doctors and suchlike. I feel slightly squeamish when I speak at conferences involving the NHS or social care. Having studied the science of happiness seemingly forever, I can’t help thinking that what I know is somehow inferior or of less scientific rigour than, say, clinical psychology or psychiatry. And if I’m thinking that then the audience of clinical psychologists probably is too? What ‘proper psychologists’ do is amazing. They work with troubled souls. They cure people and, crikey, that’s impressive.

And what do us positive psychologists do? We study happy people. I doubt I’ve ever cured anybody? All I do is remind people of stuff that they already know. What a Charlatan! I’ve never issued a prescription, at least not in the traditional sense of ‘take this scribbled note to the chemist and get yourself a little something to make you feel better’.

At Art of Brilliance our prescriptions are a little different. We prescribe a few simple top tips, drawn from the science of wellbeing. We prescribe different ways of thinking and a change of habits. We advocate a daily intake of positive attitudinal choices and a healthy dose of personal responsibility. Wash that down with an awareness of ‘playing to your strengths’ and chuck in a daily ‘random act of kindness’. Oh, and it really helps if you can find your purpose (that’s quite a biggy).

Told you it was simple! Our prescription won’t cure you because our starting point is different. We don’t think you’re broken. We think you might have just forgotten? So a prescription from Art of Brilliance won’t save your life.

But it might transform it?

‘Art of Brill’ is, for the first time ever, launching a series of open programmes. Short, sharp, affordable workshops that will pretty much do what it says on the tin. Please spread the word. Send your team? Send your family? Pay for your partner?

Check out the workshops, dates and venues. All places are allocated on a first come first served basis.

I’ll tell you about dolphins and dogs. You’ll have to work out the people bit for yourself.

Many years ago I went to Marine World and watched as dolphins and killer whales jumped through hoops. Leaving aside the moral debate of whether these awesome creatures should be doing this kind of stuff, I was mesmerized by the fact that every time they did something good, they were rewarded with a fish.

So, lesson one: how do you train a dolphin? Thrash him with a stick and shout very loudly? Nope, feed him a fish.

Moving on to dogs. When I went to training classes with my first mutt, I was taught that dominance was the key to obedience. Without it, you couldn’t have a good relationship with your dog. The general rule at that time was, “Be hard on your dog. They’ll not respect you otherwise. They’ll only do what you want if you show them who’s boss.”

Really? Common sense and a half-decent grasp of humanity told me that wasn’t the best way to treat man’s best friend? I’ve never half-strangled my best friend with a metal chain if she walked ahead of me, pinned her to the floor if she didn’t agree with my point of view or rubbed her nose in her own poo.

Thankfully, I found a better way.

Lesson two: if you become the best you possible, dogs are happier, relaxed, trust your decisions, and willingly choose to co-operate with you. Even in circumstances way beyond their comprehension, such as the hustle and bustle of the world’s largest dog show.

As for people? Like I said, I reckon you’ll work it out for yourself?

Jo Armstrong

(Jo delivers The Art of Being Brilliant in schools and communities as well as being in charge of our social media stuff. Her dog also happens to be a Crufts winner! We’d like to make it absolutely clear that, presently, she doesn’t own any dolphins)

James and Tony share their experience of delivering The Art of Being Brilliant in a pupil referral unit.

As part of the merry platoon of ‘Art of Brill’ trainers, we delight in the sheer variety of audiences we work with. One day we’re talking to business execs and the next day it’s nine year olds!

One of our recent missions was to share the science of happiness and positivity with a group of 11 to 14 year olds who are currently excluded from mainstream schools for all manner of behavioural reasons (AWOL no doubt being one of them). These youngsters were now attending a pupil referral unit which gives a whole new meaning to the term ‘the man from the PRU’.

We were warned that these were very tough kids so this job would need two trainers. Early signs were interesting. On arrival the local constabulary were attending an incident in the car park so we were locked in a classroom until calm descended. Knowing the government is very keen on the idea of placing ex-service personnel into schools ‘to teach them some discipline’, we toyed with the idea of boldly abseiling down from the roof, SAS style, smashing into the classroom in full military gear. However, on reflection we decided to enter through the reinforced iron-gated front entrance, armed only with our positivity and bullet proof grins.

We spent two refreshing and humbling mornings working with the youngsters who were genuinely pleased to see us.

Two things really struck us.

First, despite going through a difficult patch in life, most of these young people had the same dreams and ambitions as others in mainstream schools. One was desperate to become a motor mechanic, another to own her own nail bar, a third relished the idea of being a detective, yet another a computer programmer and so on. These were ambitious kids, who knew or had a good idea of what they wanted as a destination in life but simply lacked the skills to plan the route.

Secondly, the staff were a really concentrated group of 2%ers, who wore smiles on their faces despite dealing with challenging behaviour. They looked for the best in every situation and in every one of their pupils, even if they were having a really tough day. They never give up on these young people and neither should we.

Rather, we should dare to help them win.

James Hilton and Tony Seymour

You can’t accuse me of cutting corners to produce this blog. I’ve consulted far and wide, even delving into the Wiki-God of everything to turn up some stunning facts. For example, did you know that a coyote can run twice as fast as a roadrunner? So all those times that Wyle E Coyote strapped a rocket to his back or used a giant ACME magnet in a vain attempt to catch the Road Runner, he could have just, well, run? In terms of that Looney Tunes classic, I reckon most folks are less like the Road Runner (‘meep meep’) who seemed unflappably graceful in staying ahead. Life is more like the never-quite-getting-there Coyote, over-complicating things and living in a state of permanent exhaustion. I hope you’re not wearing that classic Wyle E Coyote face, you know the one – he’s just run off the end of a cliff and he turns to camera and shrugs, bloodshot-eyed, resigned to his fate.

Turning to 2015. And resolutions. Well, for me, it’s simply to do less but be more. That probably needs explaining so, here goes. You, just like me, will have a long ‘to-do’ list. I’m guessing ridiculously long? At ‘Art of Brill HQ’ we’re less concerned about your ‘to-do’ list. Just to clarify, it does concern us because the fact you haven’t got enough hours in the day to tick off all those things is giving you an ulcer.

What we’re really interested in is what we call your ‘to-be’ list. And, without getting too heavy, your ‘to-be’ list is everything because it requires you to point the finger back at yourself and ask “who am I being while I’m doing that all that stuff?” For example, am I being enthusiastic, positive and smiley, or am I round-shouldered by the weather and responsibility?

The Road Runner and the Coyote were both living life fast, but only one was living it well. We think your ‘to-be’ list is the key to a brilliant 2015. And beyond.

Happy New Year x

It was Christmas Eve and the nurses hustled and bustled even faster than usual. All wore tinsel and big smiles. Volunteering for the Christmas Eve shift was always a big deal, especially so in Ward 44 because, for these patients, this would be their last Christmas.

The old man reached out from under his hospital bed sheet and gently held his wife’s hand. He looked her in the eye with love in his heart. “Freda you have always been by my side and here you are again, by my side whilst I’m on my death bed.”

His wife wiped away a tear.

“Freda, you were there the day after our wedding when I fell off a ladder and broke my leg. You were there with me on holiday when I nearly drowned.” The old man managed a watery smile. “You were even by my side when that lorry wing mirror knocked me into the road and a moped ran me over.’

His wife stroked his forehead and nodded. “Shush,” she soothed. “You look too exhausted to speak.”

But the old man knew he wouldn’t make Christmas. He had to speak and it had to be now. “And here you are again, as I lie dying,” he wheezed. He summoned his remaining strength and managed another gentle squeeze of her hand. “Freda you’ve been by my side through it all. I’m starting to think you’re a f#£k!^g jinx!”

Merry Christmas everyone x

A very short Christmas thought inspired by Mandy (‘M’), our happiness secretary.

Last year I blogged about challenging my family to a board game over Christmas. My fave is Risk, but that’s deemed too aggressive by my teenage daughter. She prefers Cluedo, which gets a yawn from my teenage son (no ‘proper weapons’ apparently). So we ended up with Monopoly which is, according to them both, a proper ‘bored game’ (despite their faults, their use of nuanced English is exemplary, I might add). My aim was to play Monopoly so enthusiastically that they couldn’t help themselves and, do you know what, it was fabulous.

Because you know, just as well as I know, that it’s not really about Monopoly.

So when M tells me that she’s seen cartons of pre-separated egg whites in Tesco last week, I don’t know how to feel. A great example of busyness, for sure. But it’s good isn’t it? Surely, whomever’s making the meringue can do so quicker, thereby spending more time playing Monopoly?

But then M texted me from the garden centre informing me that things had taken a turn for the worse. They were selling paper chains ready-made up! Now you might have to be of a certain vintage to get this reference and, if you are, you will remember that paper chains came in a flat pack. Strips of coloured paper that you had to lick to create a loop. And it was at least a half day job to create paper chains that were then blu-tacked to the corners of the ceiling (30 years later, the remnants of blu-tac are still there!).

And to use M’s words, wasn’t that the point of paper chains, sitting together licking and sticking, alternating the colours, and seeing how long you could make them?

Just as Monopoly’s not about Monopoly, making paper chains isn’t really about paper chains.

Christmas presents are all well and good. But we prefer Christmas presence.

Have a fabulous time.

AC x

PS If you’re looking for a last minute gift, all of our books are in stock.

Hang in there dear reader. It’s Andy W here and I’m attempting to cut between 1914 and 2014. Hold tight, we’re going in…

The First World War was called, for reasons unbeknown to me, the ‘Great War’. I’ve seen Blackadder 4 as well as all those poppies in London and it doesn’t look so ‘great’ to me. But I digress.

Cut to the present day. Have you ever been on the receiving end of one of those corporate presentations? You know the one; when the speaker’s opening gambit is, “There’s too much information on this slide, you won’t be able to read it at the back”, but they show it anyway? And a little piece of you dies because you’re in for a whole morning of it. You’re almost certainly going to have to ‘think outside the box’ and feed something back on a flipchart. Eek!

1914 again. I reckon the soldiers did what they had to do, when they had to do it and I can’t help but be filled with gratitude. It’s impossible to fully imagine the horrors of trench warfare but I’m guessing their only thought was about staying alive. And, of course, that legendary game of football on Christmas day. Yes, they called off the hostilities and had a Christmas truce. Despite their differences, human spirit shone through and the enemies shook hands and enjoyed a game of footy!

Unfortunately, the milk of human kindness turned out to be semi-skimmed, because they went back to their trenches and started bombing seven bells out of each other again.

Back to present day. Please, anyone giving a corporate presentation remember the guys in World War One and what they went through to keep human spirit alive. And stop destroying it with your PowerPoint presentations and corporate drivel. If you know it’s a rubbish slide, don’t use it! Look, I know you have to keep your employees informed but tell them what you really think. What are you passionate about? Employees need something to believe in. They don’t care about graphs, interlocking circles, ladders to success, protocols or a ‘triangle of winners’ (I could go on).

They care about what you, as a leader, believe in and how they can help you achieve that. So let’s call a Christmas truce. Take all the money you were going to spend on something ‘important’ (like marketing) and take your team out. Yes, yes, I know times are hard. That’s exactly why, if I was in charge, I’d take everyone for a drink and game of bowls. And if the company wouldn’t pay, then I would.

I don’t think any of the soldiers in the ‘great’ war stood in a trench and thought one day, just one day, my great grandson will be able to beam a graph onto a wall. Or worse, have his spirit killed by one.

And, come the new year, don’t go back to your trench and start bombing them again! Inspiration is like a puppy, it ain’t just for Christmas.

Thank you

AW x

We now have a merry band of trainers who deliver our workshops in businesses across the land. It’s all good stuff, I promise. But we’ve been grappling with a big issue for a while. Imagine the impact on society if teenagers learned to be happy, upbeat and confident, instead of sinking into a ‘whatever’ culture? So we set about the task with our usual gusto and, err, failed. I mean teenagers can be like well tough audiences, bro!

So we went back to the drawing board. We mused for a while and made some grunting noises (we were getting into the teenage mindset, you see). And we started with a question; what if we designed something that challenges current mindsets? Something that made positivity, hard work, happiness and confidence really cool. So we did. And I’m proud to say that we’re launching our brand new workshop, The Art of Being a Brilliant Teenager (PDF, 2MB), right here, right now.

We have a three-pronged attack. Teenagers can attend the workshop, buy the book and, once they graduate as ‘brilliant’, wear the t-shirt (yes, we’ve got them in yellow, green and blue).

So, a couple of favours, if I may be so bold?

Please help spread the word by alerting your local school to the fact that we can help them to be outstanding. Or that we can massively raise the performance of their pupil premium kids. All they need to do is drop an email to Mandy at mandy@artofbrilliance.co.uk and she’ll send them some info.

And please do us a positive Amazon review for The Art of Being a Brilliant Teenager. Pretty please? Our publishers tell us that these reviews are crucial, especially amongst teenage readers. Email Mandy at mandy@artofbrilliance.co.uk when you or your teenager have done it and we’ll put your name in the hat for a ‘brilliant’ t-shirt (yellow, green or blue?).

A x

Argentinian golfer, Roberto de Vincenzo, won a tournament and the big cheque that goes with it. After the celebrations he was strolling back to his car when he was approached by a young woman who congratulated him on his victory. She told him her daughter was seriously ill and close to death. She needed an expensive heart operation.

Roberto didn’t think twice. He took out his pen and signed the cheque over to the woman.

At next week’s tournament, a golfing official approached Roberto and said he’d heard the winner’s cheque had been given away. “I have bad news,” he said. “It was a con. You’ve been duped. There is no sick child. She’s fleeced you.”

“You mean there is no baby who is dying?” said Roberto.

“That’s right,” said the golf official, shaking his head.

“That’s the best news I’ve heard all week!”

Is this, in fact, good news? I guess it depends on what boffins call your ‘explanatory style’. So here’s something for you to explain: a couple of weeks ago we hosted 400 people at Alton Towers. We treated them to some pretty fab speakers and as much food as they could scoff. And we didn’t charge them a bean.

Naysayers were saying it couldn’t be done or that people simply wouldn’t turn up. Or that, if they did, we’d be trying to flog them something.

Thankfully, we didn’t invite those people and check out what happened…

First up, Andy says he’s cracked it. He reckons that if you want a book on happiness there are several hundred out there. But if you want THE book on happiness, well, here it is in all its hardbacked glory. Andy says there are 15 years of his life poured into this little rascal and as a visitor to our website, you’re gonna love it.

Opportunity #2, we have developed our very first Happiness Calendar. Yes, really! We’re sure your 2018 is going to be pretty fab but wouldn’t it be great to be reminded of the 2%er messages all year round? Amy’s illustrations are to die for and Andy’s top tips and humour are in full colour surround sound. For offices, kitchens and staff rooms. We’re thinking ‘perfect Christmas gift’.

Thank you

A x